Parenting An ADHD Teenager

My son, Wesley

I, myself, have an ADHD son. He has overcome so many obstacles but fortunately was diagnosed at a very young age and was immediately put on Ritalin in the 3rd grade but over a period of time outgrew it and was eventually put on Straterra which seemed to be a wonder drug for us. We really struggled, especially with me being a single parent. My son was so lost not understanding what was going on inside of him and since he has come into his teenage years he has seemingly grown out of it a great deal but it is not to say he will not struggle with it somewhat the rest of his life. So, I have decided to share some information that will hopefully help other parents who may be dealing with ADHD teenagers themselves for it is as very challenging disorder for any parent.

All teenagers can suffer from extreme mood swings and defiant outburts, but with ADHD teenagers they can tend to be more extreme and parents can be left extremely drained and wondering how they will get through each and every day to cope with this exhausting disorder. So, if you are a parent of an ADHD teenager, I will try to explain some of the different aspects of ADHD and things you can expect to see in your teenager and hopefully give you some ideas on coping with these changes your teens.

These difficulties usually involve mental, emotional, and physical changes of adolescence. During these years their emotions will "yo yo" and will be a quest for their independence which is the norm for any teenager.

Establishing ground rules is the foundation and is vital for you and your teenager. This is really no different than the ones you set for their behavior when they were younger but you just need to be much much more consistent. However, they are growing up and the rules should change as they change.

When you begin to lay down these ground rules, make sure you and your teenager sit down and input is received from them so there is no misunderstanding from them and it is clear where the boundries are. Also, they will know what the punishment is for breaking or the rewards are for breaking or meeting the rules. You need to make it very very clear that these rules are to be met or there will be consequences and there will be "no" exceptions. Consistency is the key so as your teenager respects your rules and adheres to them. Everything else can be negotiated.

It is always difficult to know when to "let go" as a parent, especially when you are concerned whether your teenager is capable of coping with new experiences. My son was, until the last few years, very leery of new experiences. That is all part of the ADHD. ADHD children have a tendency to really fear anything new and when they are young suffer from separation anxiety but they usually will grow out of that as they mature into teenage years.

You and your teenagers need to sit down and talk this through and go over what your expectations are for what it is they want to do and then work out a schedule and if they meet your expectations, you can begin to allow them more and more independence. For example, if they forget to come home at the allotted time, you just need to take a step back, and go to the previous agreed step.

One important thing for any parent though, you should "always, always, always" know where your teenagers is, what they are doing, who they are with and when they are expected home!

ADHD teenagers are more easily influenced by peer pressure and fall into influences such as drinking, drugs and anti-social behavior and are more likely to be in accidents like car crashes.

By knowing the answers to the questions above, you can remove most of the risks attached to the problems associated with ADHD and your teenagers. Also, you will be more likely be able to communicate with your teenager which is critical at this point in their lives. In these days, social pressure is extreme for teenagers. I know with my teenage twins, I hear every day what they have to contend with and it absolutely blows my mind as well as breaks my heart.

Keeping those lines of communication open so they feel they can come to you is very important so they can talk to you about any issues they may have. Anxiety and depression are very common in ADHD teens as they struggle to fit in with their peers at school.

You as parents need to stay positive! Your ADHD teenager will feed off your positive energy. Believe me, I know that all too well. They need to know that you believe in them. Find ways to support and reward them when you see they have truely accomplished something for you will find they will work ten times harder when they see that you acknowledge their hard work and efforts. Individuals with ADHD really struggle with self-esteem issues and need that unconditional support of family and friends to drive them and continue to motivate them to do well.

Parenting an ADHD teenager is an extremely difficult task but I am here to tell you that it can be done. My son has turned out okay and yours will too. Good luck and I hope what I have said has gone a long way in helping you and yours.